I’m not a financial therapist, but women who work with me tell me my work is financial therapy.

If you experience any of the following dynamics relative to money, I’m writing this for you.

-       Rationally you know you have enough money, but constantly feel stressed, panicked and anxious when you must make financial decisions, including spending money on something really minor.

-       constantly feeling like you’re ‘failing as an adult’ due to my inability to manage money and finances, and wish you’d been taught how money works.

-       you’re making more money than you ever have, yet you almost in survival mode and not able to save any of it.

-       you can’t seem to help financially sabotaging yourself through overspending on stuff that doesn’t really make you happy for longer than a few days/ weeks.

-       You are completely detached from money through either avoiding it or just not caring about it at all or you feel like it’s just never there for you when you need it.

These symptoms are typically the result of unresolved emotional money wounds.  Negative money experiences you had in your earlier years that you may or may not even be aware of occurring, today as an adult.

Let’s spend a few minutes learning about our brain.  We have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. The conscious mind is where we access what we're actively (and consciously) thinking about, while the subconscious is where we store what we've learned as children with our undeveloped emotional brain, and what we're not aware of, at all.

The majority of our ‘money stuff’ is at the subconscious level of our brain, especially if we have recurring patterns that we cannot make sense of that we do, for no rational reason.  

Your past money experiences don’t have to define you.

Healing Money Wounds

If you’re experiencing any of the dynamics I described above, I want you to know that you're not alone. So many of us have a complicated relationship with money that traces back to patterns and beliefs formed in childhood. Whether these are anxieties, fears, or habits, they're often rooted in subconscious beliefs we may not even be aware of.

Understanding Money Wounds

Money wounds develop from past experiences—what we learned, observed, or felt growing up about money and our worthiness for having it. They’re the emotional imprints left behind by those early interactions, often replaying in our financial lives. Think about it: if you watched your parents stress over money or felt insecure about your family’s finances, those experiences likely etched deep beliefs in your subconscious about what money means. And without realising it, those beliefs have been guiding your financial decisions ever since.

We all carry ‘stories’ about money, and many of them are inherited from our past, not intentionally chosen. These stories may whisper, "Money is scarce," or "I don’t deserve financial security," “money causes relationship arguments "or "I’m just bad with money." If these beliefs are embedded in your subconscious, they’ll continue to influence how you feel, think, and act with money.

Bringing Awareness to Your Relationship with Money

A big part of healing your relationship with money is uncovering these hidden beliefs. Start by asking yourself some introspective questions:

• How do I feel when I think about money? Do you feel empowered, fearful, or inadequate?   What are your 3 most common emotions you experience when dealing with your finances?
• What stories do I tell myself about my financial worth? Are they based on scarcity, shame, guilt or abundance or you need to work really hard to, have it?
• How does money "show up" in my life? Do you see it as a supportive friend, a foe, or something that’s constantly just out of reach?

Taking time to reflect on these questions and others can help you start seeing where your beliefs about money originated. Bringing awareness to these thoughts is the first step to transition and change your relationship with money.

Healing Financial Trauma through Compassionate Change

Changing your relationship with money doesn’t happen overnight—it’s not a one-and-done, I’m afraid. It’s a journey that requires patience, consistency and self-compassion.

Here’s a roadmap to help you along the way:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Just as you would support a friend who’s healing from a painful experience, treat yourself with kindness. Instead of criticising yourself for past mistakes or missed goals, acknowledge that you’re on a journey, and it’s okay to take small steps.
2. Rewrite Your Money Story: You have the power to rewrite your relationship with money. Start by identifying what you want that relationship to feel like.     Do you want to feel secure? Confident? Free? Vision what you want it to be.
3. Build Small, Positive Habits: Create new, empowering habits and rewire old unhealthy neural pathways. It might mean setting aside a small amount each week in     savings, creating a monthly budget that aligns with your values, or simply pausing before making a purchase to ask yourself, “Is this taking me closer or further from my goals and financial vision?”
4. Heal Your Energy with Money: Money is an exchange of energy. Notice how you interact with it—are you grateful for what you have, or do you focus on what’s     lacking? Practicing gratitude for the abundance already present in your life can help shift your energy from scarcity to abundance. Even small things, like a coffee bought with ease or a utility bill paid on time, are worth appreciating.

Your Financial Freedom Starts Here

Healing money wounds is a journey of self-discovery and growth. As you peel back the layers, remember that you’re not only healing your relationship with money but transforming yourself-worth and expanding what you believe is possible.

Working with a certified money coach or financial therapist can help you break through the complex layers of money wounds and financial trauma. With the help of an expert, you’re not just learning new financial skills but also healing emotional patterns that may have been impacting you for years.

When you work with someone trained in financial healing, you’ll gain support to help you uncover and address the deep-seated beliefs that may be holding you back. Through guided exercises, personalised strategies, and thoughtful reflection, financial therapy can help you identify subconscious money scripts and offer the support needed to start reshaping them.

By working with someone who understands the emotional side of money, you open yourself up to a new relationship with yourself and your finances, one rooted in confidence, worthiness, and clarity.

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Written by female financial coach, Certified Money Coach - Karen Eley

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